Leaders Greatest Hits. Lets Heal Instead

a group meeting at work

Let us search within ourselves and be honest. Have the words that hurt ever left your mouth? As leaders, perfection is not required, but being aware of how it contributes or interferes with growth does. Let us make a goal to heal.

If you take a moment to reflect on who had the greatest influence on your life, a family member or mentor, they were focused on your healing. All leaders must be aware of this power to grow or diminish people because your overall influence on individuals in their daily routine is powerful. As Ken Blanchard says, “This responsibility is a sacred trust that should not be violated…as leaders, we hold the lives of others in our hands. These hands need to be gentle and caring and always available for support.”

Here are some greatest “hits” that have been used:

Hit: If you don’t like it you can find somewhere else to be. (bully)

Heal: I am committed to finding you a spot aligned with your strength.

Hit: Why did you not answer my email? (assuming ultimate importance)

Heal: I know things have been busy and I’m sorry I did not get a chance to talk with you in person.

Hit: Everyone is in a tough spot right now. (minimize and deflect suffering)

Heal: Tell me how I could best help this situation.

Hit: It is what it is, we are going to have to do our best to get through this. (normalizing & discounting the current situation)

Heal: I may not be able to change the decision, but I am committed to doing what is in my control.

Hit: Big boss says we need to do this, so we do it. (passing the buck to avoid responsibility for helping ease the load)

Heal: The expectation is X. What are the ways we can meet that challenge?

Hit: I have done your job before and we had to walk 10 miles uphill in lava. (parental superiority)

Heal: I realize that times are different and old days are not like the new, show me how you think we should get this done.

I challenge you now to think of healing words and say those out loud instead as you lead. Here, I’ll get you started:

HEAL: Sorry I got that wrong.

HEAL: Tell me how I could do this better.

HEAL: I really like what you are doing.

HEAL: I am weak in this area and ask that you let me know if I misstep.

HEAL: I want to accomplish our task and keep our working alliance.

HEAL: Thank you for correcting me. I will do better.

HEAL: I learn from you each time we talk.

HEAL: I believe you are moving toward better things.

HEAL: How can I make this work for you.

HEAL: I don’t have a clear understanding yet, but I am willing to get there.

HEAL: I am sorry that did not come across with the respect that you deserve.


P.S. My spirit animal is Ken Blanchard.

Learn more about executive coaching with Real Counseling Inc.